Weary

I'm an olive colored American of African, Native, and European descent (gotta love colonization I'm like a true American lol) who grew up on the south side of Chicago in an African American neighborhood. I grew up in a Christian home. My father was on the legalist side, my mom was cool. She was about loving people, not changing them. (We love people the way they are. It's God's job to change them.) When I came to Moody Bible Institute it was different. It's a totally different culture. There are many white people here who came from under whatever rock they lived under to the city of Chicago to learn more about God.

Anyway let me just tell you what happened. Once a week MBI students have to go to something called a PCM (Practical Christian Ministry). A PCM is any kind of ministry outside of school like volunteering at a homeless shelter, playing the piano at an old folks home, or helping kids with their homework. Well I work at an after school program with kids. There's a group of 6 of us who all drive up there. Well on the way I want to have fun and laugh with my friends and joke about things in the car. We joke about Moody life, tv, movies, whatever.

Well I noticed that one girl was kind of quiet and looked mad all the time before and after PCM. So I asked her what was up. Basically she was annoyed and offended at our conversations in the car. She said we made jokes about homosexuality, sex outside of marriage, and sexual abuse. And that we were acting like the world instead of like Christ.

Well, first of all I would never make fun of sexual abuse. I'm a victim of sexual abuse myself. But maybe she took one of our jokes out of context or misunderstood somehow. I also don't remember making jokes about sex outside of marriage. We did joke about the movie Knocked Up. Maybe that's what she's talking about. All I know is that movie was funny. And as far as jokes about homosexuality. We were just noting the gay tendencies we usually see from men on campus. It's kind of strange to see some of these things (especially coming from a different culture). Also sometimes things are easier to deal with if we can laugh at them.

All this to say that I know life is filled with people who are going to disagree with you or judge you without knowing the whole story. But I'm soo sick of it at this school. I feel like I need to be white and sheltered in order to be accepted. Now every time I laugh at something in the back of my mind I'm going to wonder if someone is judging me for laughing at what I'm laughing at. I'm tired. But until I graduate in December (YAY!) I'll have to deal with it and just keep in mind and be sensitive to those who grew up under rocks.