Avarice- insatiable greed for riches; inordinate, miserly desire to gain and hoard wealth
excessive or insatiable desire or greed
I've been struggling with this. I've been trying to figure out why in the world I have this insatiable need to buy things. Someone told me I'm trying to fill a void. But what is the void? I did come to realize that when I buy certain things or when I find myself overcome with an excessive desire to buy something I think of myself. I think of myself with this new thing, but I'm not just lil ol' me. I'm the me I fantasize being. The stylish, hip, me who shows off her creativity to the world by wearing interesting clothes, bright nail polish, and funky eye shadow. *Sigh* the void I'm trying to fill is my identity. I haven't yet gotten it that my identity is in Christ. While it's great to want to show my individuality I have to remember who it is I'm showing off to. I want to show off to men. And who is man? Why do I seek the praise of men?
So for some reason I feel like buying things will make me who I really am. That is a lie. The question is why do I think there is something wrong with who I am already? That makes me sad.
When I have the urge to buy something new I buy it and I am happy for a few moments and then that happiness fades and the thing I bought isn't good enough anymore and I'll want to go out and buy something else. Now I'm realized that it's not the things that I'm not satisfied with, I'm really not satisfied with myself which ultimately means I'm not satisfied with Christ. How sad.
I've been learning lately to base everything of who I am in faith on God and no one else. The things that I relied on people to do were things that I didn't trust God with. The question of me not being good enough is another issue that I'm not trusting God with. I'll have to pray against this. I'm open and willing for God to change me because I cannot change myself.
excessive or insatiable desire or greed
I've been struggling with this. I've been trying to figure out why in the world I have this insatiable need to buy things. Someone told me I'm trying to fill a void. But what is the void? I did come to realize that when I buy certain things or when I find myself overcome with an excessive desire to buy something I think of myself. I think of myself with this new thing, but I'm not just lil ol' me. I'm the me I fantasize being. The stylish, hip, me who shows off her creativity to the world by wearing interesting clothes, bright nail polish, and funky eye shadow. *Sigh* the void I'm trying to fill is my identity. I haven't yet gotten it that my identity is in Christ. While it's great to want to show my individuality I have to remember who it is I'm showing off to. I want to show off to men. And who is man? Why do I seek the praise of men?
So for some reason I feel like buying things will make me who I really am. That is a lie. The question is why do I think there is something wrong with who I am already? That makes me sad.
When I have the urge to buy something new I buy it and I am happy for a few moments and then that happiness fades and the thing I bought isn't good enough anymore and I'll want to go out and buy something else. Now I'm realized that it's not the things that I'm not satisfied with, I'm really not satisfied with myself which ultimately means I'm not satisfied with Christ. How sad.
I've been learning lately to base everything of who I am in faith on God and no one else. The things that I relied on people to do were things that I didn't trust God with. The question of me not being good enough is another issue that I'm not trusting God with. I'll have to pray against this. I'm open and willing for God to change me because I cannot change myself.
